Every day, we are faced with different challenges in our lives—career, family, health, love life, death, and conflicts among others. And it is our human nature to feel depressed or disappointed if things turned out the opposite of what we’d hoped for or expected. We tend to rely our happiness on something that we aimed to achieve—we set high expectations that blind us to what the reality mandates. From the heights of that expectation, the fall is too fast, as if gravity completely lost its control. No one can really say how to build an imaginary ladder to make the climbing from top to the bottom a less painful experience. Oftentimes, the fall was expected and we are summoned to handle disappointment abruptly—embracing the bitterness of being defeated. As an automatic response, we paused and laid down on that rough surface, where we landed, staring at the sky—thinking what just happened and where it went wrong.
But perhaps, this is the best time to recollect and examine what could have been the reason for not reaching the success that we’ve opted to achieve. Like I said, no one can really dictate us or mandate us on how to react or what to do, but merely ourselves. We are the master of our fate and it depends on us on how to respond to every failure that we succumb.
If I am to be asked, I wouldn’t follow any manual telling me how to mend my despair. But most likely, I would ask myself these questions if I am to be caught by any of these disappointments. Maybe the next day, I will feel better and ready to face that same challenge again.
1. Why did I need to work?
Practical Answer: Because you graduated with a high degree of study. Make use of what you have invested while studying. It’s your source of living to pay your utility bills, pay your mortgage, buy groceries and give school allowance.
Logical Thinking: So if your boss decided to give that promotion to your new colleague, will it keep you from your monthly financial obligations?
Success factor: Well, I still have my job and it won’t keep me from my obligation because I am already taking good care of it even before this promotion idea started. Humility is a virtue—my promotion will come at a perfect time and when I am ready.
2. Why do I fail the exam?
Practical Answer: You were in a panic and overwhelmed by the pressure of those people you meet every day, telling you “Good luck, I’m sure you will pass it. It’s a piece of cake!”
Logical Thinking: I’m sure I studied, but the scope of the test was so wide that some of the topics didn’t reach my radar during my review days.
Success Factor: I was much pressured with that idea of passing the exam to prove that I am an intelligent and smart individual. I forgot that I am an ordinary human who needs to breathe, to sleep and to have fun. There should be a balance in all that we do and the next time that I will take the exam, I will choose a place to have it away from my city, if possible. Just because I failed once, I am bound to fail the second time around—I am ready to take the exam again.
3. Why my relationship failed?
Practical Answer: It was not meant to be. You gave your best—love, understanding, and care. And probably, the person you love also gave his/her all. But still, you didn’t agree to compromise. You didn’t meet half way.
Logical Thinking: You did as much as you can. You even did some readings to get advice. Heck, no one can really tell what you’ve been through but you. So try to be more open—learn to communicate your true feelings, rather than just insinuating what you want. We are not Edward Cullen, who can read minds. Misunderstanding is the root of all breakups.
Success Factor: Saying “No” to what you don’t like is telling the person to love you as you and not someone who hides on a mask. How can we be happy for the rest of our lives if the “Yes” really means “No” deep inside? Say what your heart tells you. Respect and love are the product of honesty and therefore, the beginning of a lifelong romance.
4. Why my product ain’t selling?
Practical Answer: Admit it—you are not the only one in the area selling that product you sell. The market is saturated. You failed to make your product stand out from the commons and ordinary.
Logical Thinking: Company A, B and C said altogether, “My top competitors studied my business and copied my strategies, thus, capturing many of my existing and potential clients.”
Success Factor: When you venture for a business, your twin is the competition that’s has been present since before your parents were born. So you have to make your product stand out—innovate and dominate. Make sure your product has its presence to the awareness of your target consumers.
5. Why is it that to work is to have debts?
Practical Answer: You acquired debts because you are confident that you can pay it—hey, I’ve got a job. And then you will ask again, why it accumulated?
Logical Thinking: Apart from the inevitable circumstances, like you or a family member got sick and being hospitalized, sometimes you can’t control the finances for your medical needs. And once you are short with your budget, you resorted to debts—and that is understandable, you will do anything just to make you and your family well.
Success Factor: If possible, let us save for the rainy season. Let us be inspired by that story of the ants that never play just because it’s summertime. Instead, they used the day to gather their food and store it for winter days. So when we receive our salary, we try to use Equation A, and as much as possible avoid equation B. Well, to be honest with you, Equation A is tough and challenging because we have needs and wants. And I have acknowledged that. The bottom line is, financial management is the key.
|Cherry Seniel is the author of ‘A Timeless Heartbeat‘, the story of defying fate—a love of a lifetime. During the day, she works with her team and applies her knowledge in the field of Information Technology. In her free time, she reads anything she can find on the internet. Currently, she is working on her second novel that will be out soon.|